FOr the longest time I thought that I was just chicken because I am not the greatest fan of extreme sports and speed in general, but I figured out why my brain is wired that way today.

Andy just bought a mountain bike and I took it out for a bit of a spin and in the space of 20 min I nearly killed myself about 3 times. Now to be fair it wasn't all my fault because the back tire on the newly acquired bike has no grip but I am fairly sure my near death experiences were because I am a fool. I flipped the bike on a curb, almost ran into a car, and lost control on a turn by taking too fast with no grip.

I know I am going to kill myself doing something like this.

I wonder if there is like a pot of luck we all have in reserve that we dip into when we have these kind of experiances that prevents us from dieing. I feel this would explain my bad luck with women as I am using it all up stopping my self getting killed in some idiotic way.

when I go do this to me.

enuff said!

yeah .. nothing much is happening in the world atm, I am not generally in the best of moods, I have no money and apparently the money I do get I spend on absolute shit.

The most exciting thing I have had in a while is last night I went to the rocky horror picture show .. needless to say in true anil fashion I went in whole hog, though figuring that the minorities are fairly under represented in the show as a whole I decided to do my own tranny look.

What the hell was I thinking?? in anycase I have now proved whole heartedly to my self that I am a certifiable loon, there is hope how ever as I belive admitting it is the first step ... or is that alcoholism?
here is a few shots, photoshop enhanced for effect

I thought I would try the film noir look as well

Here is the lovely amber looking .. well like amber in a maid's out fit.. which is in itself funny if you know amber

Here is me accosting andy.. not entierly sure how this happened but it seems like the only way to andy not look like a thug looking to beat some one up is to have a tranny attack him.

and finally amber slutting it out a little

God I hope my mother doesn't read this , she is already worried I might be gay .. this would send her over the edge :)

till next time true belivers

I have decided I am actually happy about valentine's day and have decided to share the full version of the team america sex scene with you, with scat, with water sports and gerneral stupidity of trey paker and matt stone.

Love is in the Air

Okay so maybe after that you aren't feeling too romantic. Well bah humbug to you too.

The thing irking me the most right now is valentine's day. I am sure it wouldn't be so annoying if i was in a couple but every place I know is doing some crappy plastic valentines crap. Even the old man's pub I got to. It is a horrible place that serves real ale and has old retired men lean up against the bar all day drooling at people and suddenly the place is covered in pink and red hearts and the promise of horrible cheap pink sparkling wine at twice the price. Surely the old man's pub is the last refuge for the grimacing, foul- mouthed, resenting single men, where we can go to get away from the trite insanity that is holidays like this? Now it seems I may even have to book a table in the most horrible place to take a date.

To think of it, what better a way to celebrate the hideous death of a man for his beliefs then by buying chocolates, sparkling wine, a over priced dinner ( at which you will no doubt be ushered in and out with surprising haste), all of which you will be disappointed with. Then have pre-marital sex flaunting the very beliefs of the man you are celebrating.

Bah! If you don't know this .. love the person you are with everyday, buy them things when you can and come valentine's day .. if you want to do something. Stay home and shag like bunny rabbits, it will be more fun.

What will I be doing? .. Well I think I am gonna be watching some kind of crappy film about degenerate third world children in the student union and fearing that I will fail my Phd.

having my neck snapped while in between Milla Jovovich's thighs.

Yeah that definitely beats most other ways to die.

Here are my signs of the apocalypse

1. A couple of weeks ago in tunnel club I saw a person wearing a fanny pack/bum bag ... it is not like the awful skinny jeans, winkle pickers and the general russel brand twat look was enough.

2. Standing in the line to go into my club was a bloke with his hair made to look like sugerbabe. It had a bump in the front and went to a ponytail. Stupid stupid hair!

3. Just now the BBC has used the phrase "nicked" instead of stolen. Gone are the days of the queen's english.

The harbinger of doom is here.